


In The Fat Dimension

by Dillian



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Eating, Fat Hulk, Fat Loki?, Fat Thor, Food, Food Kink, Loki is Adopted That Makes it Okay, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Professor Hulk - Freeform, fat kink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-03-19 21:59:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18979171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dillian/pseuds/Dillian
Summary: Two things:  Hulk survived perfectly well on those small amounts that "puny Banner" used to eat, didn't he?  What's going to happen if he keeps eating the gargantuan portions you see him with, all through Endgame?Number two:  Wasn't Thor kind of cute when he was fat?If someone with a pervy imagination, such as Loki, say, puts these two things together, here's what you get.





	1. Burgers and Pie

**[Fandom: MCU, Post-Endgame** ****  
**Characters: Loki, Thor, Professor Hulk** **  
** **Author’s note: This is a fan-work, meant for enjoyment only, and not for any material profit.** **]**

Somewhere, in one of the many dimensions, this happens.

First, there are introductions:  “You’re dead, in my world.” “Funny, you’re dead in mine.”  “Thanos?” “Thanos.” “I hate that guy.”

Hulk has a _rather large_ pile of sandwiches in front of him.  He pauses in the middle of eating one of them.  “If it’s any consolation, Thanos is dead too, in this world.”

Loki smiles.  “Why do you think I came here?”

Loki is eyeing the sandwiches.  Hulk, remembering that he was fairly hungry, after they took him prisoner in 2012, offers him one.  Apparently, this wasn’t why he was looking at them, though, because he refuses.

“So…”  How do you make conversation with people who should, by rights, be _dead_?  Apparently, with awkward small-talk, because that’s what Hulk finds himself using now.  “What’s new?” He stops, because all he can think of to say next is, “How do you like not being dead?”

Loki takes up the slack, though.  He’s still looking at the sandwiches.  “You really need to eat all those?”

Hulk shrugs.  “Well, I’m big.”

“Yes, I see.”  Loki looks at him too.  He looks him up and down, with a speculative expression.  For a long time, he says nothing, and then, finally, “You used to be Banner, though, did you not?”

“I was Banner as well as Hulk, yeah.”

“But Banner did not eat like that.”  Loki gestures at the sandwiches. “And yet you fared well enough,” he says.  “Did you not?”

Where is this going?  Even Professor Hulk can get confused sometimes, and right now, he’s confused.  “What are you getting at, Loki?” He grasps for any idea he can come up with. “Are you afraid I’ll get fat?”

Loki’s face changes.  It is the fat thing, isn’t it?  “I wouldn’t say afraid,” he says, and he smiles.

After this, there comes a story.  “My brother…” Loki’s face still has that same, kind of funny smile.  “Do you know how much he must have eaten, to gain any weight at all? The ale alone wouldn’t have done it.”

“You’re saying you think I could get fat too?”

“Oh, I don’t know.”  Loki’s smile turns into a smirk.  “Don’t you want to find out?”

__________________________

Apparently, inside of _Professor_ Hulk, regular old Hulk still lives, and he’s still as competitive as ever.  This, the Professor learns, somewhat unexpectedly.

“I found my brother…”  This is Loki, speaking.  “He was on a quest of some kind,” he says, “accompanied by a green woman, a small animal, and a tree.  Once he found out that his beloved brother yet lives…” There’s that smirk again. “Naturally, I was able to change his plans.  Once he found that he can spend time with me instead, he was quite delighted.”

Thor looks delighted.  He also looks somewhat confused.  Maybe his brother didn’t mention that Hulk would be here?  He looks at Loki. “You mentioned an eating contest?”

A what?

“A friendly competition,” Loki says.  “Not only are you two the most powerful beings, in this World Without Thanos, but, I would venture to say, you are also the ones who can eat  the most.”

“Without getting fat?”  Thor knows, already, that he can get fat, so, naturally, he’s going to bring this up.

Loki looks up at the ceiling, in the most offhand way possible.  “Hulk says he can’t get fat.”

That did it.  There’s Thor now, ready for whatever comes.  “You mean he hasn’t gotten fat yet,” he says.

“I don’t know.”  Loki still sounds so innocent.  It’s insane. “He says he can’t, and, so far, he hasn’t.”

“If I can’t eat more than that green egghead, _and_ keep my figure…”

This is when Old Hulk comes to the fore:  “Hulk, _eat_!” the erstwhile Professor finds himself yelling, and, what’s more, he means it.

__________________________

Two tables:  Burgers, (These, apparently, were Thor’s favorite food, while drunk) and pie (because Hulk’s favorite food has always been pie).  Lots of burgers, lots of whole pies, all kinds, and two men, both of them with bibs on, that Loki found somewhere, that have “I’m a Big, Hungry Boy” printed on them.  Loki seems to find this whole thing hilarious. _Let_ him.  Hulk’s going to win this today, no problem.

“Ale too.”  This is Thor.  “A man can’t eat all this, without something to wash it down.”

“None for me,” Professor Hulk begins, “the ale will take up valuable space in my stomach.”

“You afraid I’ll beat you with the ale?” Thor taunts.

Fine.  Apparently, Hulk _drink_ , too.

Both of them start out.  Size-wise, Hulk definitely has the advantage.  One burger is hardly even a bite for him, and, as for a pie?  Two bites at most. The burgers are delicious, fresh-grilled and juicy, and the ale, which tastes like Sam Adams, is the perfect accompaniment.  The pies are incredible, flaky crusts, some with sweet-tart, fruity fillings, others filled with custard, or, a few, with chocolate-y ice cream…

Hulk realizes that he’s taking too much time to savor, when he happens to look over at Thor’s table.  He is _going to town_.  Those burgers are going into him, one, two, three bites, and there’s another one gone.  As for the pies, they are going on him and in him. Thor’s a mess, of blueberry juice, custard cream, and burger dribbles, but he is making progress with that food, there’s no doubt about that.  Hulk will have to step up his game.

For awhile after that, it’s both of them eating.  Eat-eat-eat, gobble-gobble-gobble, munch-munch-munch.  Sometimes it’s drink-drink-drink of the ale, if they need a break.  Good thing Hulk doesn’t get drunk, because the empty mugs are starting to pile up.  Is Thor getting drunk maybe, Hulk finds himself wondering? That would make it easier…

He stops himself.  That _wouldn’t._  Hulk can out-eat anybody, any _time_ , any _where_ , and without gaining any weight at all.

__________________________

How the whole thing ends?  They run out of food. It’s about four in the afternoon, both of their tables have been overturned, and the two warriors sit, replete, among the wreckage, both of them licking sticky fingers, and occasionally letting out a loud belch.

“Actually, you ran out several hours ago,” Loki tells them.  “I have been conjuring illusion-food for you, since then.”

“Indeed?”  Thor sounds like he might want to take offense, but he can’t.  Hulk can’t either, he’s just too full. “Who won, brother?”

Loki shrugs his shoulders.  “I have no idea.” Another of those evil grins.  “I was having too much fun watching you,” he says.  “I couldn’t possibly keep track.”

Irritation stirs, somewhere at the back of Hulk’s overfed mind.  Thor seems to be struggling to get angry as well. He manages a scowl.  “You mean we did all that for nothing?”

“No.”  Loki’s grin widens.  “I tested my hypothesis.”  He points. “Apparently, Hulk can gain weight.”

He can’t.  He’d better not be able to.  One thing that’s always separated Professor Hulk from the old-school, unimproved version?  He had dignity, at least. And so, at first, he looks over at Thor. That Asgardian warrior now has quite a tummy on him again, like he did before.  And as for himself… Oh god, oh god, let it not be so!

Before Hulk can look at himself, he hears a shout of laughter, coming from Thor.  “Indeed, brother, you are right!” He’s pointing. And now Hulk does look down. Oh god, his stomach is _tremendous_.

“I knew it.”  Loki’s grin is gone, replaced by his usual snotty smirk.  “Stands to reason. Too many calories in, and you get this.”  He pokes… _He is actually poking Hulk’s belly!_  Oh, where is the old, angry Hulk, when he’s needed?  “I think it’s cute,” Loki says.

Thor, irritatingly enough, agrees with him.  “I do too, brother,” he says.


	2. Ice Cream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning: This chapter is a good deal less innocent than the last one.

**[Fandom: MCU, Post-Endgame** ****  
**Characters: Loki, Professor Hulk, Thor** **  
** **Author’s note: This is a fan-work, meant for enjoyment only, and not for any material profit.** **]**

Loki thinks he’s being so clever, when he comes around, and starts telling Thor, “Oh, Hulk thinks he’s better than you, he’s bragging about it,” etcetera.  Loki’s tricks get old. He’s done that divide-and-conquer thing before.

Hulk’s lost the weight that he gained during their eating contest.  Like, one day it’s there, the next day, poof, it’s all gone. This apparently, has something to do with gamma radiation, probably Hulk would explain, if Thor asked him to, but Hulk’s explanations always go on for so long.  Short version: It took him about a day to lose the weight, Thor’s still got like forty extra pounds hanging around his middle. Admittedly, there are some reasons for that. Loki seems to really enjoy watching him eat, and he’s always bringing him all these desserts and things.  Thor likes the desserts, and he also likes being with his brother without getting a knife stuck in him every two seconds, so when Loki shows up, he always eats them.

A reality of life:  Fat warriors are just as powerful as thin warriors.  Look at the Warriors Three, for instance. Is there any attack that can match Volstagg’s famous belly-bump?  Thor still has the endurance he always had, and he still commands Mjolnir, which is the main thing. If he’s gained some weight from all his brother’s  desserts, what of it? He’s still the same hero he ever was.

One day, Loki comes around.  It seems he’s found Hulk’s book, _Gamma Radiation, an Insider’s Perspective_.  Do not ask what this book is about, or Hulk will tell you, and it’ll be boring.  Loki’s version is different from the ones Hulk always gives though. “He says here, that he lost the weight, and you couldn’t.  He’s saying he’s better than you, Thor.”

Reality:  Hulk is not.  He’s saying some kind of gobbledygook, that’s very confusing, and not very interesting; go read the book if you have any questions.  Loki’s trying to stir up trouble, which he always is, or maybe…

Maybe he wants them to have another eating contest?  No lie, Thor’s thought about the other one they had a few times.  He’s thought about how cute Hulk was, with all that extra weight on him, and how he giggled like a big green Doughboy, when Thor poked his belly.  He wouldn’t mind seeing that again. He’s not going to get anywhere admitting that to his brother though, because that’s not how you do things with Loki.

“HE SAID WHAT?” he bellows instead.

“He said _he’s_ better than _you_.”  Loki’s smirk is his usual one, that says he thinks he’s smarter than everyone else.  That little extra gleam in his eye, though? That says something different. Thor knows a little about what that gleam is saying, but Loki hasn’t talked about it yet, and he doesn’t want to be the first one.

Loki, meanwhile, is still holding that big boring book in his hands.  It’s open to a page which is maybe where Hulk talks about the weight thing.  Thor sees row after row of teeny-tiny print and no pictures. He doesn’t care what that page says.

What he cares about is making another eating contest happen.  “HE IS NOT BETTER THAN ME,” he roars at his brother. “I AM THE BEST, EVERYBODY KNOWS I’M THE BEST!”

“Pfft, I don’t know about that.”  That wicked sparkle, in Loki’s eyes, and the grin, that devious grin.  Not to mention all the creativity, seriously, if his brother would ever use his powers for good, Thor knows he’d be better than everybody.  Here he is, still lying, and the fact that Thor knows he’s lying doesn’t make it any less of a lie. “I mean, he did lose the weight,” Loki says, even though he’s the one who’s been bringing desserts around and keeping Thor fat.  “You know what? I bet he won the eating contest too.”

A piece of information:  Nobody knows who won their other eating contest.  Loki was supposed to be keeping track, but it turned out he didn’t.  He said he was having too much fun watching them eat… This goes along with that weird gleam in his eye, whenever he brings Thor desserts.  Someday they’re really going to have to talk about that.

Not today, though.  It would take too long.  Today, there has to be a rematch.

__________________________

Loki, it turns out, has already talked to Hulk.  Another fun fact you should know? Professor or not, Hulk is still just as competitive as he always was.  He also kind of goes back into monster-mode when he’s competing. It’ll be, “HULK SMASH,’ and “HULK EAT,” and “HULK WIN,” where the rest of the time, it’s “I believe that’s incorrect,” followed by a science explanation that lasts for an hour.

Loki brings him, and he’s in full-on HULK-WIN mode.  They go to the park where the last contest was held (too messy to do it indoors).  Two tables have been set up. There are all these big tubs of ice cream, piled up on top of them.

It’s summer.  And it’s hot and humid.  Midgard can get very hot.  “The average person probably couldn’t get through one of those tubs before it melted.”  Loki looks at Thor, and he looks at Hulk, and his smile is just wicked. “The average mortal, anyway.  You two aren’t mortal.”

“HULK GET THROUGH IT,” comes an immediate roar.

Thor, who wants this to happen, comes up with the appropriate response:   “I CAN BEAT YOU EASILY, MY GREEN FRIEND!”

The ice cream is really good ice cream, and there’s lots of it.  There’s also strawberries, hot fudge, whipped cream. Everything Midgardians put on ice cream is there, and Midgardians can get very creative.  One thing that’s missing is spoons. Naturally, because then Loki wouldn’t have as much fun watching them.

“We have to eat with our _hands_?”  Hulk’s Professor side surfaces, just for a moment.

“Just shove your face in, if you’re not too much of a coward.”  Thor demonstrates, coming up with his mouth full, and a smear of Moose Tracks across one cheek.  “Mmm,” he smacks loudly, “delicious! I will definitely win.”

This of course gets him the competition that he wanted.  “HULK WIN!” comes another yell. A second later, all Thor can see of his green friend is a tousle of hair, above the top of a tub of what looks like mint-chocolate chip.  Slurp-slurp, “HULK EAT,” gobble-gobble, “HULK **DESTROY** PUNY WARRIOR,” followed by some pig-trough noises that should probably not be described.

Thor sees Hulk throw the first cardboard container to one side.  He realizes he’s been having too much fun watching his friend eat, and he’d better get to eating himself.

__________________________

After this, it’s a repeat of the other time.  Gobble-gobble, slurp-slurp, gulp-gulp. Hulk’s got this thing where he’ll spray a whole can of whipped cream into his mouth at one time.  Thor does him one better, by eating an entire bottle of sprinkles in one gulp. Nuts are flying everywhere, and as for the strawberries? _You don’t want to know_.

At first, there are 25 tubs of ice cream on each table.  Then there are ten, then there are just five. Loki sends someone to get more ice cream.  Where is he getting it from? Who knows! But it’s melted when it arrives. Not all the way melted, there’s still these solid gobs in there.  At first Thor’s not sure how he’s supposed to handle this. He sees Hulk reach in and grab one of the gobs, and then he does the same thing.

A big gob of strawberry ice cream, all squishy in his hand.  Wham, there it goes into his mouth. It actually tastes pretty good this way.  Thor looks at the melted pink that’s running down his hand. Oh well, why not? He crams his hand in and licks it all off.  Here comes another handful, this one drips even more. The ice cream is melting faster than ever now. Finally, he just picks up the tub and drinks it.

He looks over, Hulk’s doing the same thing.  His friend is so glooped-up with chocolate ice cream that he doesn’t look green anymore, he looks brown.  He takes off his shirt, maybe because it’s so covered with ice cream. He’s also really fat now, like, really, really fat.  His rolls are green, but then the ice cream starts to cover them. Just spatters at first, and then drips and drizzles. Then it looks like there’s a chocolate Hulk over there, but he’s still eating ice cream so fast you can’t keep track.

Is it weird Thor wants to lick some of that ice cream off him?  Yeah, definitely weird. He throws a glance over at his brother.  Loki wants to lick it off too. Loki looks at Thor, and he looks back at him.  There’s a partner-vibe going on here; two minds running in the same track.

“HULK BEAT PUNY WARRIOR,” comes a chocolatey bellow.  Thor notices that Hulk’s table is practically empty now, while his is still full of food.  He’d better get back to eating. And, another tub of ice cream, and a jar of cherries, and two cans of whipped cream, and some more sprinkles..  And food and food, and dessert and dessert, and gobble-gobble-gobble, and gulp-gulp-gulp-gulp-gulp.

__________________________

Hulk’s burp says that he finished first.  Thor catches up, though, in about a half a minute or so.  “I was fastest.” Hulk wipes a smear of chocolate fudge off his chin with his finger, and then licks it.  “That means I win.”

“I ate just as much,” Thor says.  “That means it was a tie.”

“The question wasn’t quantity, it was speed.”  Even fat and covered in ice cream, Hulk can still out-Professor anybody.  “I finished before you, therefore I win.” Even the loud burp that follows sounds professorial.

“Speed?  Pfft. I let you  win. Anyway, the question was quantity.”  Here’s the thing: This argument doesn’t matter.  Thor’s looking at Hulk, and he is a green mountain.  He’s as round as bowlful of Jello, and he has ice cream everywhere.  And Loki’s looking at Thor, and Thor knows he looks pretty much the same.

Loki is smiling.  You know they’re just adopted brothers, right?  Something could happen, it would be alright. Thor wants it, it’s pretty obvious his brother wants it too.  Why not? It might be really fun. Even better if they could get Hulkto join in. Thor looks at his friend. Could they?  Unfortunately, the Professor seems completely oblivious.

“It was definitely speed.”  He has this teensy-weensy wet wipe in one hand now.  If he thinks he’s going to clean all his mountainous rolls with that, he is the world’s biggest optimist.  But there he goes, taking little-bitty dabs. “I commend you by the way, Loki,” he says. “This was more fairly run than the other contest.  We’ll have to do it again.”

Loki’s look at Thor says, “Yeah, and maybe the next time all three of us can have fun afterward.”

Thor’s look back at him says, “Yeah, and maybe next time you’ll eat too.”  He’s started to get really curious about what Loki would look like fat. So far, though, his brother won’t eat himself.


	3. Hot Dogs

**[Fandom: MCU, Post-Endgame** ****  
**Characters: Professor Hulk, Thor, Loki** **  
** **Author’s note: This is a fan-work, meant for enjoyment only, and not for any material profit.** **]**

It’s the Fourth of July.  There’s a big celebration planned for later, over at Avengers Tower.  Hulk’s probably going to stop by and say hello, even though it feels weird, with Tony gone, and this different dimensional old man Steve living here now, who never took the serum, never lived as Cap, or fought alongside the rest of them, or any of that.  Too many things are different this year. Even the last five years, when everybody was still dead made more sense than this.

Old Hulk would probably have thrown a tantrum.  That’s still more of a temptation than the new and improved Professor version would like to admit.  You know what helps keep the feelings down? Eating. And, since his two eating contests with Thor have proven conclusively that gamma radiation is an effective preventive for obesity, why not?

Hulk’s actually already eating when he thinks about those contests with Thor.  He’s eating a hot dog. If you’ve never seen Hulk eat a hot dog, it’s kind of a comical sight.  The things are a little smaller than his pinky finger. He picks them up one at a time, kind of like chopsticks with grains of rice.  One pack from the grocery store is like a teensy little snack for him. Right now he’s finishing the last one from the pack he bought yesterday.

Anyway, there he is.  He’s tossing this little wiener into his mouth, and there are these two concepts in his mind at the same time:  Thor, wiener. Wiener, Thor. And then wiener makes him grin, in kind of a Middle School way. Let’s face it, what guy doesn’t do that?  And then that’s when the penny drops: Thor? Wiener?

A dirty, filthy look that he kept seeing on Loki’s face when he’d look at his brother, while he was eating the ice cream.  And, wasn’t the same look all over Thor’s face when he looked at Loki, at the end of their contest? Thor, _wiener_ , suddenly feels like it has a whole new meaning.  Whose wiener? Loki’s wiener. Where was Loki putting his wiener after the eating contest?  And, did Thor like it? And have they been playing more wiener games since then?

It’s curiosity at first, a little pervy, admittedly.  Hulk wants to replicate the same conditions as before, just to find out if Loki and Thor really have something going on together.  If they do though, well then that’s different. Then pervy becomes horny. Hulk definitely wants to be part of any more wiener games between those two.

__________________________

It’s never hard convincing Thor to eat.  “A barbecue, Friend Hulk?” He seems only slightly confused.  “You mean besides the one at Avengers Headquarters?”

“I mean before the one at the Headquarters…”  Hulk’s lying at this point actually. He knows that if his barbecue goes the way he’s planning, they’re never going to get to the other one.  “I mean you, me, and…” He swallows. “...And _Loki_ …”

“ _Loki_?”  Hulk must have sounded hornier than he meant to, because suddenly there’s all this significance in Thor’s voice.  All this embarrassing significance.

Oh well, might as well go with it.  Makes things easier anyway, doesn’t it?  “Loki yeah,” Hulk says. “Kind of like you and him after the ice cream contest, only this time it’s all three of us, you know?”

“Yeah.”  Thor _knows_.

“Only this time maybe your brother eats too.”  Because the idea of Loki out of control and fat is, to put it mildly, more than a little bit sexy.  “Maybe he eats a lot?”

You can hear Thor’s dirty-minded smile over the phone.  “I think that can be arranged.”

The basics for a good barbecue:  A grill, some meat, buns and condiments.  All the grocery stores in town know Hulk by this point, and they’ve gotten used to buying enough supplies to keep him satisfied.  It isn’t hard to go to one grocery store and get enough hot dogs and buns for him. After two more, he’s got equal amounts each for Thor and Loki, as well.  The grill’s a giant-sized commercial one, and there are three tables piled high with buns, mustard, catsup, etcetera. There’s also dessert: What else? _Banana_ splits.

Pretty soon, the guests arrive.  Thor’s dressed for an eating contest:  One of those giant-sized baggy t-shirts he used to wear when he was letting himself go, playing Fortnite, and some elastic-waist shorts with plenty of give to them.  Hulk’s wearing the stretchy purple pants that were his old-school outfit of choice. But, Loki?

Finicky as a cat, and well-groomed within an inch of his life, black-on-black, with little touches of green, it’s not his battle outfit, but it might as well be.  This guy is sartorial perfection. A thought comes into Hulk’s mind: He _has_ to ruin that perfection this afternoon.  He looks over at Thor. He’s having the same thought, isn’t he?

“My brother has agreed to eat with us this afternoon,” Thor looks over at Loki.  “Haven’t you, brother?”

“An eating contest you said, didn’t you?” Loki says.  “And the loser has to be the winner’s slave for a month?  I’ll enter, I’ll definitely win.” He grins his usual devious grin.  “I can think of a few things I want _my slave_ Thor to do for me.”

Hulk can think of a few things he’d like _his slave_ Loki to do for him.  “It’s all three of us, or it’s not happening.”

“Agreed.”  Loki’s smirk gets even wider.  “Let’s make it fun. The winner gets both the losers as slaves.”

“Agreed.”  Hulk’s starting to find the domination aspect of this really interesting, but you know what?  He looks over at Thor, sees this huge filthy grin. He’s going to enjoy this no matter who wins, isn’t he?

__________________________

Three chefs are manning the grill.  Hulk should have hired six, because those hot dogs are disappearing faster than the cooks can keep up.  Finally he yells out to them, “You can go home, I’ll pay you for the whole day.” After that, it’s cold dogs, but nobody seems to mind.  Hot dogs can be any temperature, and you won’t even notice, if you’re eating them fast enough. Hulk’s eating his at the rate of about three per minute.  From the looks of it, Thor and Loki are going faster than that. It’s fun to watch Thor going at the food. He’s a two-fisted eater, a hot-dog and a bun in each hand, and then munch goes one, munch goes the other, and he’s starting over.  Loki though, now that’s just insane. They just go in a whole dog at once, in one big bite…

Impossible not to think of deep-throating when Loki does that.  His mouth opens so wide, and then in go eight inches of wiener, and…  Jesus.

“You’re falling behind, Friend Hulk!” Thor encourages him.  Well of course he does; they’re going after Loki together, aren’t they?

Might as well catch up.  Hulk starts pouring whole bagfuls of hot dogs into his mouth at once.  Eight at a time? That’s just about a normal-sized mouthful for him, right?  He grabs bottles of catsup and squirts it all in afterward, like a chaser, then another bag of dogs, then a bottle of mustard, and so on.  And then a bag of buns, and then we start back at the beginning… Not going to lie, Old-School Hulk’s comfy purple pants are starting to fit a weensy bit tight.

Hulk takes the time for a quick glance over at the competition.  Oh no, not Thor’s the one staring glazed-eyed, as Loki deep-throats wiener after wiener.

“Are neither of you going to give me real competition?” the Trickster says smirkily.  “Come on, surely you can do better than this.”

“I can and will!”  Thor starts ripping bags open with both hands, cramming big fists full of bun and meat into his open mouth.  Hulk goes at the food the same way. Empty bags are going everywhere, and empty hot dog packages, and empty bottles…  Here’s the thing: He got a look at Loki, while he was watching him eat. _Loki was getting fat_.  Hulk wonders if Thor's noticed that also.

Fat-Loki is undeniably adorable.  You thought his brother was cute like that?  This is beyond cute. Think about a roly-poly little kitten, think about a soft white belly, and a snotty cat’s expression up above.  Think about green eyes that say, “I’m superior to you,” but at the same time that mouth keeps gobbling, gobbling, gobbling, because he’s got appetites, just like anybody else.

 _Appetites_ …  Hmmm...

__________________________

You ever eaten hot dogs while you were thinking about _appetites_?  The dogs seem like they just fly in.  You look over after what feels like two seconds, and you’re surprised, because your table’s suddenly empty.  No hot dogs left, but that’s alright, there’s another table full of banana split ingredients, you just move over there, and keep on eating.

“More ice cream?” Loki says snottily.  “Tsk unoriginal, Hulk.”

Ice cream pfft, think about the bananas:  Loki deep-throats those too, and it is something to see.

“We’d better keep eating, Friend Hulk.”  Thor jars Hulk out of staring, while another banana gets undressed, and disappears into Loki’s wet pink maw.  Hmm, imagine being that banana…

“Yes yes, of course, you’re right.”  He grabs a tub of ice cream and dives in face-first.

And after that there’s just eating, and noises.  And here’s a jar of cherries, open it quick and gulp them down.  There’s some ice cream, and he eats that, there’s some hot fudge, and he eats that as well.  Here are some bananas, chomp-chomp-chomp, and they’re gone, and there’s some ice cream, now that’s gone too.  Hulk eats like a machine. He wants to make himself some time, so he can look at Loki. And Thor, sure, but come on, he’s seen fat-Thor before.  _Fat-Loki is new._

...Hulk’s licking the last smears out of a tub of mint chocolate chip, when he realizes that the noises have changed.  Those aren’t eating noises anymore, are they? Those mmm’s, and the soft laughing sounds? He looks up, and then he looks again, and then he stares…

A bananas is being covered with fudge sauce, but it's not one of the Chiquita ones he bought at the grocery store.  Fat-Loki is still deep-throating like nobody’s business, but now you can’t say anything’s really being eaten. And the look on Thor’s face?  Oh my god, that look!

Hulk takes a quick look at his tables:  They’re both empty. He glances over at the others' tables:  There’s still food there. That means he’s the winner, doesn’t it?  How fun! Two willing slaves. Instead of asserting himself right away though, he just goes over and enjoys the party.  And he enjoys it, and the others enjoy it, and when fireworks are sparkling all over the night sky a few hours later, there are still plenty of fireworks going on between the three of them as well.

And then afterwards, everything is over.  “We’re going to do this again,” Thor says, full of Thunder God bossiness as usual.

“We’re definitely doing it again.”  Hulk takes the time for one more good look at his two fat friends, before saying goodbye.

Thor’s still rotund, he’s still cuddly, but Loki?  Urrgh!

“Oh, we’ll definitely do it again.”  Loki’s skinny black-and-green perfection is just like it was before they started.  Because all that fat was an illusion? Or is this the illusion? “The two of you were ...entertaining,” Loki says.  “I’ll enjoy having you as slaves.”

“Slaves?  Pfft! I won,” Hulk says.  “I ate the most food.”

“Quantity was never the issue,” Loki responds snootily.  “The question was who could keep their figure…”

Here’s the thing, though:  It doesn’t really matter who wins.  What matters is that they're going to have plenty of rematches.


End file.
